This is going to be a long introduction so please do bear with me! Back last year, I wrote a post about the lack of diversity I saw in fashion blogging. It was a time when I had considered branching more into fashion here on my blog (the reasons I didn’t venture far are coming up) and so I was looking out for some bloggers similar to me who were crushing it for inspiration. Instead, what I found at the time were gorgeous, young slim white girls (not me then) or beautiful plus-sized babes who were crushing it with their two-fingers-up-attitude (again, not really me). And while both were inspiring in different ways, I wanted to see more people like me – those who were sort of in the middle when it came to sizes (10-14 perhaps) and who were already waving goodbye to their youth. I struggled to find them.
Petite gold foil mesh dress / knitted sock style ankle boots
I had such a positive response to that post and while I know in my head the saying “become the change you want to see” was screaming at me, I couldn’t shake my insecurities. Even when I finally found inspiration on Instagram like #midsizestyle (heralding positivity for those in-between sizes), I felt like perhaps my time had passed. The initial excitement I felt at breaking into fashion blogging waned and I fell into the old conversations I always have with myself and the negativity I often have to fight against: “You’re too old for this.” “You’re too fat.” “You aren’t pretty enough.” “You’re too short.” “Seriously? What do you know about fashion?” and on and on.
Petite embroidered chiffon top / Petite boot cut jeans / red buckle strap ankle boots
As much as I longed to get myself out there in front of the camera and finally face my fears, I just couldn’t get past my own negative judgements about my face or my body. I know for a fact I’m not alone in this. We tell ourselves these horrible things all the time – things we would never say to our dearest friends and yet we repeat the negative mantras in our own minds all the time, far too often.
Added to this, well, I’ve put on a few pounds over the last two years. I coordinated the sale of our house and our move to a new area almost entirely by myself as well as planning a huge renovation project and the stress of everything took its toll in comfort eating, takeaways, a need to curl up on the sofa rather than get outside. The good eating habits that I’d worked so hard on fell to the wayside and even after moving and settling in, I’ve yet to find my mojo again. I mean, my weight has always yo-yo’d all my life and I’ve been on every diet imaginable for the last 30 years. As a result, my relationship with my body is a minefield.
Petite printed satin midi dress / ring handle tote bag / high shine shoe boots
When it comes down to it, I have to ask myself why am I placing so much value on my physical appearance? Why do I only ‘deserve’ new clothes if I’ve lost a few pounds and why am I so hard on myself when I’ve gained a few? I’m the same person with the same accomplishments, the same random sense of humour, the same weird accent, and I’m the same stubborn, fiercely loyal, independent person I’ve always been. My own self-worth should not be tied up in what it says on the scales. I know this – I really do. But sometimes I need a push, a reminder. Perhaps we all need to be told this repeatedly, especially when everything in society is screaming the opposite. Especially when we don’t feel at our very best.
Petite sparkle rushed front maxi dress / boxy faux fur jacket / high shine shoe boots / knot stretch belt / star charm necklace
This is where Kaleidoscope steps in. They read my blog post and loved it and so they reached out to me to ask if I’d like to come up to their studios and shoot their wonderful AW Petite Range. Wait… what? They want ME to model their clothing? I’m 45 years old, I’m a size 12-14 now, I’m only 5’3″ tall. I’m not a model.
Let me assure you – every single insecurity of mine came crashing into my head, screaming at me to just stay in my little comfort zone and say no. No, I can’t do this. No, I don’t want to be reminded of my insecurities – of my perceived flaws, of every way I fall short (no pun intended) of what I’m ‘supposed’ to look like as a woman.
Camel cocoon coat / Petite embroidered mesh top / suede fringe shoulder bag / feather trim ankle boots / star quilted shoulder bag (worn as clutch)
But then what kind of hypocrite would I be? I’ve just banged on about wanting to see change – about wanting to see diversity in fashion – about “being the change you want to see” and here I had the chance to do exactly that. Whether Kaleidoscope understood the million and one negative emotions going around in my head, I’m not sure, but they were the most understanding, sympathetic brand I could have worked with. They were incredibly encouraging and positive, promising me a brilliant day where I’d get to share the range, get my hair and makeup done by a professional and essentially just have a great day out. I couldn’t say no – they made it impossible for me to refuse their offer (in a good way)!
Petite gold foil mesh dress / camel cocoon coat / knitted sock style ankle boots
And so, the images you see in this post are the result of that day. I headed up to their studios in Elland, just a few miles northwest of Huddersfield in the morning and met the team. They immediately put me at ease and made the entire day really fun. I couldn’t have asked for a nicer team of people surrounding me on a day when I really just wanted to crawl under a duvet and stuff my face with cookies.
Petite sparkle rushed front maxi dress / high shine shoe boots / star charm necklace / Antoinette blush pink velvet chair
The range is great and there are so many pieces that would easily take you from autumn to winter with ease – from classic pieces like boot cut jeans to full-on glamour in sparkly rushed dresses. I’ve linked to all the pieces I wore under the images but my favourite by far was the gold foil mesh dress which was exactly the kind of thing I would wear myself – incredibly flattering in a midi length and the perfect cut for a curvy girl like myself.
And while, naturally, not every single thing that I tried on was perfect for my body shape, there are plenty of options for the ‘height challenged’ among us! Jeans and maxi skirts are a particular minefield (turning up the bottoms or dragging on the floor or having to get them altered is pretty common for me) but the lengths on everything were great. I have also found shopping in petite sections in the past that everything is kind of miniaturised and the sizes are cut so much smaller for a smaller frame (which I do not have – I’m just short!). I didn’t find that at all with this range – nearly everything felt true to my normal size.
With the Kaleidoscope team’s encouragement, I felt my fears and negativity falling away and genuinely enjoyed the experience of being in front of the camera for once. So my body isn’t perfect, so I’d like to lose a few pounds, so I’m not as young as I used to be – so what? I had a great time, tried on some truly lovely clothes and was reminded that none of that really mattered.
So, I suppose my point is that sometimes to truly give yourself the chance to appreciate what you do have to offer is to tell those fears and insecurities to get lost and just do whatever you want to do anyway. Even if you’re scared. Even if you feel silly. Even if you feel like you don’t deserve it. Do it anyway. I’m grateful that I was given that chance by Kaleidoscope and I’m proud of myself for feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Your body, your weight, your age, your height, the colour of your skin, whatever your insecurity doesn’t have to define you.
I’m 45 years old, I’m curvy and short and a woman of colour. But I’m more than any labels and I’m more than just numbers on a scale. And I’m done allowing any of those things to hold me back.
Discover the full petite range at Kaleidoscope here!
Kaleidoscope has been generous enough to provide a 20% discount applicable to their Petite range (even sale items!) – just use the code QRPP on any item in the range from now until 9 November 2018.
Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this post but have received a gift voucher from Kaleidoscope to spend as I please on their website which is packed with gorgeous fashionable pieces at every size. All images are copyright Kaleidoscope and used with kind permission and all words and opinions are, as always, entirely my own. I only work with brands I love and hope you’ll like too! Thanks for supporting the brands that support Swoon Worthy.
I think you look wonderful in the pics Kimberley- and the clothes are fab! well done for being brave.
I also struggle with being 40ish and looking for suitable style advice online – more please :-)
Kimberley you look divine and speak so eloquently for every woman who doesn’t live up to those narrow stereotypes.
Move over Kate Moss This modelling career is here to stay!
Oh! My! God! How gorgeous do you look?!!! You look amazing (love the pic in the sparkly dress!) in every shot and should be so proud of yourself for having stepped out of your comfort zone, it’s so worth it. These images are absolutely fantastic! xo
You look absolutely lovely, wonderful, perfect. Now, go out there with this knowledge and walk like the queen you are.
Wow! You look fabulous Kimberley. Don’t give yourself such a hard time. Real women aren’t perfect and I personally would love to see a more diverse range of fashion bloggers. Go for it girl!! Love the gold foil mesh dress btw. xx
Good for you for going for it! And you look freaking gorgeous in every single one of these photos. My favourite is the same as yours – the gold foil dress, it’s absolutely divine! I’m off to have a proper look at it now!
Suzy x
http://www.suzyturner.com
Sexy and gorgeous Kimberly!
Good for you Kimberley! I’ve always thought you looked great, whenever I’ve seen pictures of you, so I’m glad doing this has helped you to see yourself in a positive light.
Hold your head high!
You were oh-so-obviously the perfect choice for this shoot! I love everything and you. I’ve been with you for quite a few years and I am so proud to see you stepping out in this way. And with a brand where all the pieces look like they were made just for you! Makeup and hair is beautiful and only helps to accentuate your natural beauty! So very happy for you! Bravo and More….
You are a beautiful, smart, funny lady. Don’t be so hard on yourself. None of us are perfect. You are wonderful!!!!
You look beautiful, and you speak for all women when you address your insecurities. Unfortunately, for most of our lives, we are bombarded with reasons we should feel insecure and less-than. I’m sure you’ve helped many with this post, and even if it was only one person, it was worth your daring to confront your own fears.
Keep on doing what you do. We are listening and watching.
The last shot is my fave. You look amazing, my rock star!
Oh Kimberly, you sound like me! I would like to be perfect, but know that’s not possible and have had insecurities about the parts of my body I don’t like, all my life and from being teased by my sisters while I was growing up and these things stay with you! Then a couple of years ago, due to extreme worry over my husband being ill, (he is well now thank goodness) an dlosing both my parents, I developed IBS and lost a dramatic amount of weight, down to about 7 stone and felt great in my clothes, could wear anything!! BUT I could hardly eat anything and would be Ill every week if I ate anything that disagreed with me so just kept losing weight. And although I had the legs I had always dreamed of, I looked older and being that thin didn’t suit me, I looked like a walking skeleton covered in skin! So now I have the IBS under control and am back up to 8 stone and my husband is very happy as I have some shape again! I think we all have a weight that is natural to us and we look well at. I am 60 now and have always been told I don’t look my age which is lovely and I can see I look better again. But I miss my skinny legs and find myself looking at women with thin legs again with envy! So are we every satisfied with ourselves??
And, I think you look beautiful and gorgeous in all the clothes and what a treat that must’ve been for the day! I love all your blogs and interiors and always look forward to reading them and seeing the wonderful combinations you have thought of! Always stunning, just like you. You are beautiful inside and out! So celebrate who you are …… special. 😘😘
You look absolutely beautiful! We already knew that you were clever and creative. I was inspired by you before, but now I’m inspired in a whole new way. I gained weight in the past year after my sweet boyfriend was diagnosed with colon cancer and died a month later. I’m feeling better about myself after seeing how glam you look. Well done, sweet girl!
You go, girl!!! You look absolutely gorgeous in every photo! Yay, you! Thank you for paving the way for more inclusivity and more love for all shapes and sizes! Signed, a very curvy, tall, 53-year-old sister 💕
Oh you look absolutely gorgeous, and HAPPY, on these photos Kimberley!! You should never have even one nasty negative thought about yourself, you’re amazing!!
You look so good and glam in the photos. I agree with the points you’ve made as I’m also a bit overweight and hate clothes shopping because of it.
Bravo! You look absolutely smashing and you represent a lot of us, so that makes us feel so much better about ourselves! So glad they reached out to you and you took them up on their offer. Loved the post and can’t wait to hear about what you decide to purchase :)
Dahling, you look marvelous! So glad you did this. What a lovely example you’ve set in getting outside of our comfort zone. The photos are gorgeous!
Aww lovely- you look fab!!! Well done for going for it, the images are just beautiful
Well done for facing your fears to champion the inbetweeners and well done to Kaleidoscope for stepping up to the mark – love it all!
If I’d seen these photos on their website or in the catalogue I’d have said you were a professional model. You’re a vivacious girl & your joie de vivre shines out. Well done.
I need those boots
OMG! Kimberley, I am sure you have just written this article about me! I feel under pressure all the time to be thinner, prettier, younger and I have struggled with body insecurities all my life. I am also short – 5 foot 1 inch. Thank you for highlighting these issue which so many of us face.
You look fantastic in every picture and should be very proud of yourself. I will hope doing this has given you back some body confidence too but you look vivacious, pretty and full of life. Well done!
I’m so glad you went for it – you model the clothes to great effect and look confident and beautiful In all the photos. Being 5 ft short, I’m often pointing out the difference between ‘petite’ and ‘short’! I’ve just finished a sewing course so I can shorten my own clothes! Good to see some labels recognising real life shapes/sizes. AND I’m 47 and decided I’m gonna wear whatever the hell I want to! (apparently ‘old is the new black’.. although we’re not there yet) Tx
That sequin dress!!! And you in it! Amazing on both accounts!
Stop being silly, you can model anything you feel like. 90% of ads are still full of 15 year old girls and boys. Funny that buying power for these lux goods is not with millenials in 90% of cases. So no thank you to the ideal weight elves (who actually 15 years later are as normal as the rest of us, with bingo wings and cellulite), and yes please to glamour, smile and real world beauty.
Bravo Kimberly!
Love the style they dressed you in and the make up looks amazing too. Absolutely fabulous photos and you should be very proud of putting yourself out there. We are all more than our looks. Great post!
You are AMAZING, and you look it!! Some of these clothes are as gorgeous as you ;)
Also, that hair colour (and the eyebrows) are absolutely perfect for you <3
You should be very proud of yourself for battling back against the stupid, nasty internal voices we all have: you have proved to us all that they lie. I agree with Joanna: I would never have guessed you weren't a professional model!
Look at you!!! Wow, you’re really rockin’ it Kimberly……..well done for not giving in to those negative voices, we all have them. For me it’s my age, 48 and just not ready for beige cardigans yet! You give hope to all of us over 40s non-size-10s xx
These pictures make ME feel secure. That’s how good you are in front of a camera. You’re beautiful, and no, you don’t look like Kate Moss, but thank god for that.
So many people love you Kimberly, this post is one of the hundreds of reasons why.
You look fabulous in all the photos.
The last one is my absolute favourite – being such a magpie.
Please keep flying the flag and inspiring us over 40s that don’t just fit the cookie cutter mould.
Kimberly you looked stunning, i’m so glad you did it, it looked like you were really enjoying yourself. The clothes looked amazing. Xxx
Kim – I have always thought that you are just beautiful and in so many ways. You have the wonderful Wayne who obviously is crazy about you, an incredibly successful business with a devoted following and now you are model! A few extra lbs hasn’t stopped you and you are setting the pace for the rest of we petite, need-to-lose 20 lbs girls out there! Thank you for sharing your heart and your fabulous photos! XO Susan
I’ve been waiting eagerly to see these photos because I knew you would look amazing and you absolutely do! I struggle with all the same issues and I have never really felt good about myself in clothes (except oddly, when I was very pregnant, and I was enormous at that point!) and the idea of posing in them, well, terrifying. So I know exactly what it took for you to do so, but I really hope that these photos have showed you what everyone else sees when they look at you, not just what you see when you look in the mirror. I said this to someone on Insta yesterday – if only we could put a filter on the mirror of other people’s opinions, and we would be a lot kinder to ourselves and a lot happier. Because other people don’t see all our internal negatives, they see our personality and our smiles and those things go so much further to making us beautiful than the shape or our thighs or the glossiness of our hair. xxx
So many congratulations, Kimberly, my heart swelled as I read this post! You should be so proud of yourself, you look gorgeous and you are rocking all those clothes!
My dear, with that gorgeous smile you could rock a feed sack!
All us short ladies struggle keeping the extra pounds off. As one of this large group of women who admire your accomplishments, and dig your style I also say, well done beautiful you.
This was such an amazing post to Read Kimberly, resonated so much as I’ve struggled with fashion sense my whole life, always feeling so embarrassed of dressing up. This post has given me inspiration to dress like no one’s even looking.
You look absolutely FABULOUS!
FIT
KIMBERLY, YOU’RE SO CUTE I COULD EAT YOU! Seeing these pictures on my laptop screen and I am screaming with joy and glee. It is no easy feat what you did, and you have my utmost respect for it! You look incredible and so comfortable. It looks like you were working with a fantastic team! Not to mention that black and gold dress. It is so good …